a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
