like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
