I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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