They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't think brook has ever known best
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
