god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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