dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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