im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
