Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I had to cum in my sink.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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