I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
