And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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