Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just found a bag of teeth...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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