I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
