I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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