Sry I called you an 8
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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