Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
