Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
