I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
