Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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