So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
