and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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