she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i think i just lost a toe
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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