What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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