I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
