No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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