Yo dont text me then not text me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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