Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
