Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
