Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
