i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
