I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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