Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
