OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
