You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
