Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
