It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
