I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
