Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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