I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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