She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
