do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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