I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
