Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
