So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
