my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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