My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
