she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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