Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
