if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
