So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
