God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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