why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
